It's just what I've been thinking of.
By OctoberflyHasNoWings at 01:37 PM on November 22, 2009 in My Cyber Journal.
Actions are mostly dependent on our emotions. Crying, laughing and getting angry; they are all what we do based on our emotions. No?
We get upset and angry when someone treat us badly. Does that mean that we have to treat them the same again?
It's not necessary to hurt someone who have hurt us. Well, we can't deny that we do; out of anger and emotion surges. I do. I admit I do. In order to not act that way, it takes some time to think. I need plenty of time. But think--- people can be mean to you but you can choose not to be the same. You don't want to make the same mistakes. You don't want to hurt people the same way he does. People can choose not to help you and you can choose to not do the same.
Sometimes a step backward is what you need to move a step forward.
But after further thinking, I'm too selfish to be forgiving. If helping brings me harm and pain; I'm really sorry. I can't afford to help. I can't stop feeling guilty but what do I have left to help? After not answering his calls, he sent me a message. He sounded desperate and I really pity him. But after his beatings and all--- I do feel scared. I'm even scared to walk home or to go out of my house. I can't be borrowing money from other people again. The amount that he asked for isn't little.
Honestly, why does he need that much money for?
I remember he said he needed 600 only. In the end he took everything instead of only 600. If I were to count back again. It's more than 900. It's like... Much more if it's accumulated. Fuck. I'm just a student. Does he know how much that meant to me? And now he's asking another insane sum of money. Like what people say; If he's not asking for money, he would hit me or scold me.
I'm being vengeful again.
Jeez, I don't really know what I'm thinking. Couldn't be helped. I'll live my lovely life and stop thinking about it. Time to plan for some brashopping <3
My friends try to tell me all along that you weren't the right one for me.
Currently listening to: Everything Back But You - Avril Lavigne
Currently feeling: HMM...
